


Candy Bar Thief

by PetrichorPerfume



Series: Shenanigans [173]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Candy, Chocolate, Gabriel thinks humans are stupid, Gen, M/M, Police officers, Thief Gabriel, petty crimes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-21
Updated: 2016-02-21
Packaged: 2018-05-22 10:06:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6075201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PetrichorPerfume/pseuds/PetrichorPerfume
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Officer Good's job was easier before Michael's family moved into the neighborhood and Gabriel 'accidentally' steals a number of candy bars.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Candy Bar Thief

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by 11pink45, who asked if Officer Good was going to make a reappearance. Well, here he is~

When Officer Good got a call from the local supermarket informing him of a candy bar thief, he began preparing himself to give the child that had undoubtedly committed the crime a very stern talking to.

 

The cashier that had reported the crime wasn’t finished, though. “I just can’t fathom it, Officer,” she continued. “I keep doing inventory and the candy bars keep disappearing, even though I’ve been keeping a close eye on my checkout station all day!”

 

At that point, Officer Good thanked her, promised to be there within the hour, and hung up with a mighty sigh. Before Michael and his band of hooligans had moved into the neighborhood, his job had been easy. He’d had to deal with the occasional lost dog or the rare noise complaint from teenagers getting up to a little too much fun. In all his days of policing, he’d never had to deal with actual crimes, let alone thefts!

 

***

 

Officer Good arrived at the scene to find four exasperated cashiers, three furious managers, two delinquent hoodlums, and one fed-up Adam discussing (read: shouting over) the candy bars.

 

“Gentlemen, ladies,” he greeted. “Let’s be civil for a moment.” He turned to Gabriel, who had chocolate smeared across his lips and tears gathering at the corners of his eyes.

 

Gabriel hastily wiped away his tears and met Officer Good’s gaze. “I wasn’t trying to steal, I swear! I was going to pay, but then I couldn’t remember if you used euros or yen or bitcoin or whether or not you were still trading furs because humans are stupid and-”

 

“Gabe,” Adam warned, laying a gentle hand on the Archangel’s shoulder.

 

“Yeah, well, you didn’t always use coins and banknotes, and I was around long before you started _selling_ things in _supermarkets_!”

 

“Gabriel!” Adam chastised.

 

Gabriel put his hands up in surrender. “Right, right, I’m human, and it’s not weird to trade paper and worthless metals for food and goods at all.”

 

At that point, Michael stepped forward. “Why don’t you let Officer Good tell us what money you need to pay with, and you can check your wallet to see if you have anything that would work as payment so we don’t have to spend the night in jail.”

 

“I don’t hav- Oh! Oh, right. My _wallet_.”

 

“We use US dollars, son,” Officer Good gravely informed Gabriel.

 

Pulling a wallet out of his back pocket, Gabriel set about searching for the proper currency. He pulled out a hundred dollar bill and handed it to Officer Good. “Is that gonna be enough?” He sighs. “It was so much easier when you used food and furs, but that’s just me.”

 

Adam elbowed him in the ribs, reached forward to shake Officer Good’s hand, and led his family out of the supermarket with one parting, “Thank you.”

 

Officer Good watched them go with a fond little smile, then turned to the cashiers and the managers and said, “That, my friends, was the Winchester-Milligan family. They’re mostly harmless, but remember that you can always call me if they give you problems ever again.” With that, Officer Good departed.

 

***

 

Almost as soon as Officer Good returned to his vehicle, a burst of static filled the car. “There is a man dancing in the park without clothes; I repeat, there is a man in the park dancing without clothes.”

 

Officer Good gently rested his forehead against the steering wheel. When he looked up, Lucifer had made himself at home in the passenger’s seat and was nodding along to silent music. “That’s my brother on catnip,” the Archangel explained. “But at least it keeps _your_ job fun.”

 

“Yes, it’s the perfect present,” Officer Good said rather sarcastically, which wasn’t usually his style but these ruffians brought out the worst in him, damn it!

 

“We thought so too,” Lucifer replied with a cat-like grin. Then he sobered and laid a hand on Officer Good’s shoulder. “I’ll take care of Castiel. You go back to keeping everyone safe.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

In parting, Lucifer said, “Oh! And we’re having a party tonight at midnight. Everyone’s invited!” With those words, he disappeared, and Officer Good slammed his hands against the wheel.

 

“Another sleepless night. Just what the residents of Lebanon, Kansas needed.” He sighed. “Well, it keeps things interesting at the very least.”


End file.
